What?!?!?!

Video Journal 9/25/08

Chemo Hair

I was born with red hair.....

But once you've lost your hair to chemo....it comes back a different color!

They say it will most likely turn back to my original hair color, but it may not. I'm not to sure I like being a brunette. If it doesn't change back, I may have to start coloring it!

My Journey

This is my journey.

I'm currently battling stage 4/grade 3 metastatic invasive/infiltrating ductal carcinoma, e.g. breast cancer.

I've gone through 6 months of chemo and two months of radiation on the chest/neck/back.

I'm also currently undergoing a year long treatment of herceptin for the HER2 protein which I tested positive for.

The cancer has spread to my brain and lungs.

I'm currently going through brain radiation as well treatment for the lungs.
It's been a long tough road, but God is ever faithful and has blessed me tremendously during this season of my life.

If you'd like to hear more about my battle with cancer....read some of my blogs.
I try and update them regularly.

Enjoy, and feel free to contact me with questions, comments, etc.
I am ever so grateful for all the support and prayers of my family, friends, and even people I haven't had the pleasure to meet....yet!

I pray God blesses you as much as you have blessed me. There is so much about me, if you're interested feel free to ask. I may just answer you! :-)

LIFE.....And What It Boils Down To!

After sharing a rather characteristic story of a day in my life with some friends, I realized others may find it amusing as well. Hence, this blog.

By the way, if you are at all easily embarrassed or perhaps a male who finds talking about female anatomy awkward......stop reading NOW!! This blog entry is not for you!
(You have been warned....)

As you well know, I've had a mastectomy. The right breast was removed, which was traumatic enough. But, let me tell you about what life is like after a mastectomy.

First, their was the "temporary" breast. This consisted of a light piece of material filled with pillow stuffing. The idea is to safety pin it to the inside of your bra so it doesn't float away! Now, anyone with a pillow will tell you, when you put pressure on it, it tends to dip in. To flatten, if you will and to deform to various un-breast like positions. Not exactly attractive, I must say. Especially when you look down and one of your breast looks like an upside down ice cream cone!

I think the worst part of the "temporary" breast is sitting in your living room and having your cat run into the room with it in his mouth! Apparently, I have not bought enough toys for the little furball, so he's decided to make one out of my breast. Go figure!

After the temporary breast, you graduate to the prostethic one. This is much bigger and when you've only had a single breast removed, they weigh the prostethic down so it looks "natural" and matches your real breast (you know, the one they didn't lop off). So, now I get to wear this heavy prostethic in a bra during the middle of summer in Arizona (110 degree weather). You can't wash this thing......and after a while it can start to smell rather ripe, if you know what I mean. So, I don't tend to wear it all that often.

However, on this one particular day, I did decide to wear it. I decided to wear it to my doctor's appointment to meet my new oncologist. My mother went with me and the appointment went well. I liked the doctor, his staff, and the new treatment plan he had mapped out. After the speaking with him and the initial exam, he momentarily left the room but left the door open. His billing specialist walked in the room and asked for my insurance card so she could make a copy. I stood up off the examining table and walked over to my purse and got the card. I handed her the card and she walked out of the room. I didn't think she would take long, so I stood there waiting for her to return.

As I was talking to my mother, something caught my attention on the floor. I stood looking at it for a moment, my brain trying to register what it was. It looked familiar, yet it was foreign somehow. Couldn't quite put my finger on it..................until............light bulb goes off in my brain and I realized IT'S MY BOOB! My prostethic breast has managed to wiggle it's way out of my bra, down my shirt and onto the floor. Completely oblivious am I to all this, I don't feel a stinking thing cause guess what.....when you have a mastectomy, they cut all your nerves in your chest so you're numb!

Needless to say, my mother and I lost it. We were laughing so hard I thought we were going to pee our pants. I figuredd it was a blessing to realize that I lost that roaming, mind-of-it's-own breast thingy in the doctor's office and not when I got down to the car! Can you imagine me going back into the building asking people as I pass them if they have seen a boob wandering around somewhere?!?!?!? My mother suggested that I write on the back of it "IF FOUND, PLEASE CALL......"

Yes, this is my life now. Keeping track of a boob that has a mind of it's own. Thank you so much! By the way, my doctor suggested I get a prostethic bra......they apparently have a pocket for the roaming, mind-of-it's-own breast thingy. Again, go figure!

Well, praise God it didn't happen in church! That would have been interesting to explain.
AMEN!

8/9 update on my battle against breast cancer

PET Scans are very interesting. For those that do no know what a PET Scan is or does, I will try and explain the best I can.

They initially inject a radiactive isotope/glucose mixture into your blood. The reason they use glucose is because the glucose adheres well to the cancer cells. Like me....cancer like sugar! Go figure?!?! Anyway, as I was saying....before I was rudely interrupted by the obvious, the glucose adheres to the cancer cell and when scanned, the radioactive isotopes create a glow. This allows the radiologists to see where clusters of cancer cells may be in the body.

Well, ladies and gentleman, the good news is that my chest, abdomen, and pelvis regions DID NOT LIGHT UP!!!!! Praise God!

However, there were lymph nodes in my neck that light up. Now, the doctor doesn't seemed surprised or worried. He said the nodes were in a precarious position and removal would be rather risky. He would like to keep an eye on them and continue with the chemo treatments. After my initial 8 weeks of chemo are up I will have another PET Scan. At that time, if the glowing nodes are still there, my doctor and I will discuss more chemo or the possibility of radiation. I'll be having radiation done on the chest and right arm/armpit area anyway, so to add another location should not be too difficult. We'll have to wait and see. I am praying that by the end of the 8 weeks, the PET Scan shows nothing in my body glowing!

On Thursday, I had my chemo and herceptin treatments. For those of you keeping track....that means I have 6 more chemos left and 48 more herceptin treatments to go.

There by the grace of God I go.........

I had a vision the other day I believe was from the Lord. I was in a boat.......a little dingy if you will. It had a single mast,mangled and tattered by past storms that ravaged the tiny vessel. The clouds were dark and ominous and the winds were kicking up from all directions. White crested waves were heaving their weight and tossing me to and fro. The boat was barely able to stay afloat.

At that moment, the Lord allowed me to see the water with more clarity. Amazingly, the water wasn't water, per se. It was made up of thousands of hands.....praying hands! I wish you could have seen it. It was incredible.

Instantly I knew what was helping me stay afloat. God of course was there with me and never left my side, but your prayers were keeping me afloat. The water was just a vast sea of prayers.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all your prayers. They are so powerful and I am ever grateful.

N~

8/1 update on my battle against breast cancer

Hi everyone,

Well, let's see.....what has happened since we last spoke? O.K., Dr. Kato gave me two treatments of Herceptin by itself and I didn't have any allergic reactions to the medicine! Praise God! Thank you so much for all your prayers.....they worked! This week I started a new chemo along with the Herceptin. The chemo is called Abraxane. It's considered a pretty agressive chemo for metastic breast cancer, so it should do the trick. It has all the expected side effects (e.g. nausea, headache, muscle/joint pain, fatigue, irritable bowel, mouth sores, etc.) But, so far, I'm doing relatively well. I have some nausea, but the anti-nausea medicine is taking the edge off. I have the headache, fatigue, muscle and joint soreness.....it's like having a really bad case of the flu. But I'm managing by the grace of God! Woo Hoo.....one down and 7 to go.

So, the plan is that I will have the Abraxane/Herceptin treatments once a week for eight weeks. Assuming there will be not additional complications with this chemo, I will start radiation the end of September or the beginning of October for three months. I will be having radiation 5 days a week for about 10-15 minutes a day. Herceptin will continue weekly until August of next year. So, by the beginning of the new year, I should be just on the Herceptin and moving right along.

My PET Scan is this coming Tuesday (Aug. 5th) to see if the cancer has spread to my lungs or anywhere else for that matter. Whatever the results, I know I'm going to be fine. It may end up being difficult, but I'm a tough cookie. And with all of your prayers......I'm definitely in good hands with the Lord.

Well, I meet with Dr. Kato on Thursday, Aug. 7th to go over the PET Scan results, the second pathology results and to have my next chemo/herceptin treatment. I will keep you informed of any changes, progress, that sort of thing.

Take care and God Bless you all!
Noelle

Changes.....BIG ONES

Before Chemo.....

After Chemo.....

With my mouse ears!

7/16 update on my battle against breast cancer

Hi everyone,

Well, let’s see…there is so much new information to tell you that I don’t know where to begin. I decided to get a second opinion about the Herceptin treatment. I met with a medical oncologist named Dr. Kato at the Virginia Piper Cancer Center at the Scottsdale Healthcare Center on Shea. I really liked him and his office staff. I liked him so much, I decided to start seeing him instead of my old medical oncologist. I felt extremely comfortable with the treatment plan he would like me to be on.

Believe it or not, Dr. Kato believes that I am not allergic to Herceptin, but to the chemo, Taxol! Now, both my old oncologist and Dr. Kato believe there is no way I can go without treatment for the HER2 protein. In fact, Dr. Kato said that if I go without any treatment to kill the protein, my recurrence rate jumps up 50%! And my survival rate drops considerably as well. However, the doctors differed drastically in their approach to treating the HER2.

There is a newly FDA approved drug called Tykerb that treats HER2 positive cancer as well, but it is usually given to only stage 4 patients whose cancer has spread to other major organs. That’s not me. I have stage 3 cancer and my cancer has only spread to my lymph nodes (even though there is a possibility it may be in the lungs). Dr. Kato’s plan was outside the box. He said, if by the off chance I’m really allergic to the Herceptin, he’d like to try the Tykerb even if I don’t fit the mold of the typical cancer patient who takes the drug. I’m all for that, since my old oncologist wanted to give me Herceptin even if I was allergic to it and then give me steroids for a year to counteract the allergic reactions. Needless to say, I wasn’t at all thrilled with the idea of steroids for a year! Hence, the second opinion!

Well, Monday I had my first Herceptin treatment at Dr. Kato’s office. I wasn’t given any chemo, just the Herceptin. He would like to see how I react to the Herceptin alone before introducing a new and different chemo called Taxotere. He has stopped the chemo Taxol altogether. He really believes that I have been reacting to the Taxol the whole time. And guess what! So far, no reaction to the Herceptin! Ain’t God awesome!?!?!

So, the plan is to meet with Dr. Kato next week to follow up and then get another Herceptin treatment. He may or may not start my new chemo next week….it all depends on how it goes with the Herceptin this week. I’m also getting a PET Scan and a follow pathology test to confirm the HER2 since the original test took 2 months to come back. He would like to double check the pathology because the lab doesn’t usually take that long for results. The PET scan was never originally done because of my sarcoidosis. Sarcoid apparently causes a lot of false positives on the results, but Dr. Kato believes having a baseline regardless of the “hot spots” would be beneficial. I agree and look forward to seeing the results of that test. I’d like to see if my lungs are a “hot spot”. I’m praying they don’t light up!

I’d like to take this moment now to express some thoughts that have been heavy on my heart:

Kim, Sue, Ames, and Melinda….your friendship and love have kept me grounded and I am blessed to have each of you in my life. Debs….you are an incredible gift straight from God. Lindsey, Hannah, and Julie….Jesus radiates through each one of you and the movie Rat Race RULES! Tim, Amy, and handsome little man Paul....thank you so much for the timely and beautiful email! Jeff….we keep missing each other, but I look forward to getting together for that lunch. Marylois….you are wisdom and comfort for me, thank you. Ana, thank you so much for your friendship throughout the years. Barbara Repan….I know you have your hands full yourself, but your thoughtfulness and cards have been so kind and I’m praying for you my friend. Rene’….your wisdom and anointing have helped keep me sane, praise God for you! To my family….you are my heart and you have been such a blessing to me and I wouldn’t be here without you, thank you. To ALL of my friends and family who have prayed and have been so generous to me….I thank you and my heart overflows with gratitude! There have been so many people who have been a blessing to me, I wouldn’t be able to remember everyone, so please forgive me if I did not mention you by name.

God bless all of you.


Blessings,Noëlle