Please Specifically Pray for Me

It's me again. I finished the radiation to the brain stem yesterday....YEAH! And I cannot properly express my thanks to all the people who blessed me with rides to my two-a-day appointments! What a Godsend!

I spoke to Dr. Tannehill after my last appointment yesterday. I had some difficult questions to ask of him and the answers were more or less disappointing, to say the least. Hence, this blog entry.

Back in March of this year I finished my first initial brain radiation treatments. They targeted the whole brain at that time. My first scan afterwards was in May and showed a reduction in the main large tumor by half. Awesome! Was incredibly pleased. However, in August, I had another scan and it showed that the tumor had not only grown back to the original size, it had incorporated itself into my nerve bundles in my brain stem. It looked like a jellyfish type parasite taking over my brain stem. NOT GOOD.

Now, if you weren't aware, you are not supposed to radiate the same tissue twice. It increases the risk of necrosis (tissue death). Dr. Tannehill said that if you polled all the radiation oncologists in the country, about 70% would not have done the second round of radiation to my brain stem. The risk would be too high. Scaredy-cats. :-)

For me, I didn't hesistate at all. I agreed to it. All these treatments that I have been through the last 18 months straight have risks. If I didn't take them, it would be like giving up! I'm not a quitter. I trust God to take me when He is ready, not when the Dr.'s or treatments say.

Anyway, let's get back to the issue at hand. You see, I believe my tumor has responded to the second round of radiation, just like it did after the first round. The problem is, if let's say, in three months it has grown again, they cannot radiate it again. It's also in-operable because of how it has entangles itself around the nerves.

Needless to say, I may be out of options. Most, if not all chemos, don't cross the blood brain barrier. I've been on Herception for a year now which is an antibody to kill the HER2 protein. And then I was put on Tykerb, the only other HER2 fighting drug which was supposed to cross the blood brain barrier. Obviously, the Tykerb did not work.

However, my medical oncologist is running a clinical trial on an experimental drug for HER2 positive patients, where, while on Herceptin, the cancer has spread. This hopefully will be an alternative to Tykerb for future HER2+ patients. In order for me to qualify for this trial though, my cancer has to be stable (not growing or spreading). And because it is an experimental drug, they don't really know if it will cross the blood brain barrier. I'm hoping it does.

So, all that to say, could you please specifically pray that:

1). My tumor in the brain stem does not grow AT ALL. And if it does, it grows INCREDIBLY SLOW. :-)
2). That I qualify for the clinical trial.
3). That the experimental drug is a success at fighting HER2+ cancer AND crosses the blood brain barrier.

I really appreciate all of you helping me in prayer. And don't worry, I'm going to try anything they are willing to throw at me, regardless. I won't quite fighting.

All my love and God Bless you!

Round 3......Here we go AGAIN!!!!

Well, I got the results today of my most recent CAT Scan and MRI and they were not good. The tumor in my left lung has grown in size and I have multiple new tumors in my chest and my left armpit.

As for the tumors in my brain, the one in the right temporal lobe still has not changed (which is good). However, the large tumor in my cerebellum has grown. In fact, it has gone into the brain stem. This is serious because it's not just a tumor with definite edges. It has shadowy edges and tendrils that branch out like a jelly-fish and it has entangled itself with the nerve bundles in the brain stem.

The danger is, I've already exposed my brain stem to radiation. If I treat this tumor with Gamma-knife, Cyber-knife, or the other surgical radiation it will expose the brain stem with too heavy a dose and can cause necrosis. Necrosis is where tissue dies. Now the hard part is trying to figure out how much radiation to kill the tumor, but not damage the brain stem.

The risk is necrosis can kill the whole brain stem or parts of it. If the whole brain stem is affected, you cannot survive it. If only a partial area is affected by necrosis, then it can result in stroke and seizure like symptoms (e.g. seizures, paralysis, inability to speak or walk).

So, the specialist I spoke with suggested that we reduce the radiation to a smaller amount and treat the whole brain stem twice a day for 15 days (Usually Gamma-knife, etc., is 3 to 4 treatments at a very high dose). Hopefully, the small doses of radiation will limit the amount of damage to the brain stem. And since there are no definite edges it will get everything, including the tendrils.

After radiation is done, I will start a new chemo (for the fourth time!) because the Tykerb apparently did not work for me. Which, in itself is a blessing because it came in pill form and my insurance considered it a prescription, not a treatment. And according to my health insurance, my portion for prescriptions is 40%. So, I was paying $1,300 a month for this one chemo pill. Hopefully this new chemo is an infusion and not a pill. If it's an infusion, then it is 100% covered. I'll know more about that after radiation comes to a close.

Anyway, that catches you up to speed with my day today. I hope yours was better! :-) I'm still thanking God for his grace and peace He has given me. I'm content and peaceful with being in God's hands. I trust Him and His will for me. God bless you all for your support, prayers, and encouragement. I am greatly appreciative.

N~

God is Great!!

God is so awesome! He heard your prayers and answered them! I have no new tumors and the existing tumors are shrinking! The problem is with my brain shunt. The setting got too low and it's draining too much spinal fluid and it's making my brain drop onto the spinal chord causing the nausea and severe headaches. I go in on Monday to get my shunt adjusted to the right setting and things should start to look up again.

How awesome is that. I'm telling you, put your faith in God and He will not disappoint. Holy are you Lord and Thank you, thank you, thank you. All of you who prayed....thank you.

All my love and blessings,
Noelle

Asking for prayer...

For the past week or so, I've been suffering non-stop nausea and severe headaches. I've also been having problems with my vision, abdomen pain, and pelvic pain. I saw the doctor yesterday and he scheduled a emergency MRI of the brain and CT Scan of the chest/abdomen/pelvic regions for tomorrow.

I'm asking prayer for wisdom, accuracy in the tests, and for God's will to be done. I'm asking for the doctor's to have supernatural wisdom about my results and to prescribe a treatment that will alleviate my symptoms.

Thank you again for all your prayers and support. I really couldn't get through all this without the Lord and my King and Saviour and your prayers lifting me up everyday!

God Bless,

Noëlle

What the Lord has spoken to me....

Family and Friends,

I have been blessed with so many scriptures the Lord has given me that have kept my spirits up and have given me hope regarding the cancer I'm fighting. I would like to share those scriptures with you so that the Lord's word can be hidden in your heart and will give you hope as well.

Deut. 30:19-20
“Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. And that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice and hold fast to Him. For the Lord is your life, and He will give you many years in the land He swore to [you].”

You see the Lord has promised me a husband and I take the last line as confirmation that He has many years planned for me and my future family! The Lord is my life and He never breaks his promises.

Psalm 41:2,3
“²The Lord will protect him and preserve his life…”
“³The Lord will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness.”

The Lord gave me this scripture just the other day. How reassuring is that! Praise God.


When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, I asked the Lord to give a scripture to hold on to. I randonmly opened my Bible to John Chapter 11. As I began to read the story of Lazarus, I realized what it meant for me and my life.

You see, I feel the Lord telling me the cancer is not a sickness unto death, but to reveal the Glory of GOD! As the world might see the cancer diagnosis, especially the brain and lung, as a death sentence, I don't. I see it as an opportunity to show God's glory and love to everyone, believers and non-believers alike. The cancer may look like death or that I'm going to die, but the Lord has promised me victory over this. And by His grace, love, and mercy, He will reveal Himself to people through this season.

I know the scripture below is long, but I encourage you to read it and hold on to it like I have. May God be revealed to you in new ways through this season.


John 11:1-44

The Death of Lazarus
11:1 Now a certain man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village where Mary and her sister Martha lived. 11:2 (Now it was Mary who anointed the Lord with perfumed oil and wiped his feet dry with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick.) 11:3 So the sisters sent a message to Jesus, “Lord, look, the one you love is sick.” 11:4 When Jesus heard this, he said, “This sickness will not lead to death, but to God’s glory, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” 11:5 (Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.)
11:6 So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he remained in the place where he was for two more days. 11:7 Then after this, he said to his disciples, “Let us go to Judea again.” 11:8 The disciples replied, “Rabbi, the Jewish leaders were just now trying to stone you to death! Are you going there again?” 11:9 Jesus replied, “Are there not twelve hours in a day? If anyone walks around in the daytime, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. 11:10 But if anyone walks around at night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him.”
11:11 After he said this, he added, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep. But I am going there to awaken him.” 11:12 Then the disciples replied, “Lord, if he has fallen asleep, he will recover.” 11:13 (Now Jesus had been talking about his death, but they thought he had been talking about real sleep.)
11:14 Then Jesus told them plainly, “Lazarus has died, 11:15 and I am glad for your sake that I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.” 11:16 So Thomas (called Didymus) said to his fellow disciples, “Let us go too, so that we may die with him.”

Speaking with Martha and Mary
11:17 When Jesus arrived, he found that Lazarus had been in the tomb four days already. 11:18 (Now Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, 11:19 so many of the Jewish people of the region had come to Martha and Mary to console them over the loss of their brother.) 11:20 So when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary was sitting in the house. 11:21 Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 11:22 But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will grant you.”
11:23 Jesus replied, “Your brother will come back to life again.” 11:24 Martha said, “I know that he will come back to life again in the resurrection at the last day.” 11:25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live even if he dies, 11:26 and the one who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” 11:27 She replied, “Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God who comes into the world.”
11:28 And when she had said this, Martha went and called her sister Mary, saying privately, “The Teacher is here and is asking for you.” 11:29 So when Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. 11:30 (Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still in the place where Martha had come out to meet him.) 11:31 Then the people who were with Mary in the house consoling her saw her get up quickly and go out. They followed her, because they thought she was going to the tomb to weep there.
11:32 Now when Mary came to the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” 11:33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the people who had come with her weeping, he was intensely moved in spirit and greatly distressed. 11:34 He asked, “Where have you laid him?” They replied, “Lord, come and see.” 11:35 Jesus wept. 11:36 Thus the people who had come to mourn said, “Look how much he loved him!” 11:37 But some of them said, “This is the man who caused the blind man to see! Couldn’t he have done something to keep Lazarus from dying?”

Lazarus Raised from the Dead
11:38 Jesus, intensely moved again, came to the tomb. (Now it was a cave, and a stone was placed across it.) 11:39 Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the deceased, replied, “Lord, by this time the body will have a bad smell, because he has been buried four days.” 11:40 Jesus responded, “Didn’t I tell you that if you believe, you would see the glory of God?” 11:41 So they took away the stone. Jesus looked upward and said, “Father, I thank you that you have listened to me. 11:42 I knew that you always listen to me, but I said this for the sake of the crowd standing around here, that they may believe that you sent me.” 11:43 When he had said this, he shouted in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 11:44 The one who had died came out, his feet and hands tied up with strips of cloth, and a cloth wrapped around his face. Jesus said to them, “Unwrap him and let him go.”


God Bless You All,
Noelle

I realized I haven't given and update....

I finally finished the full brain radiation treatments on Monday. They will wait 2-3 months for the swelling to go down and the radiation to get fully out of my system before they will do another MRI scan of the brain. This is so they can get the most accurate scan possible. Once I have the scan done, they will see what is left of the tumors and at that point will, if need be, start what is called Gamma Knife Radiation. GKR is a more accurate laser radiation which they will target the tumors specifically instead of the whole brain.

As for the lung cancer, well I don't know if you remember, but the cancer I have is HER2+ which makes it very aggressive. There are only two drugs that are FDA approved to treat HER2+ cancer. Herceptin, which I have been on since August of 2008. I'll continue that for a year and stop it August 2009. The other drug is Tykerb, which is specifically for stage 4 metastatic HER2+ cancer that has spread to the brain and other major organs. Tykerb is known to actually be able to cross the blood brain barrier which chemo's and Herceptin fail to do. That is why most brain cancers are treated with radiation. Anyway, they are extremely optimistic with me being on both the Herceptin and Tykerb.

The Herceptin is an infusion in my port-catheter every three weeks. It takes about 2 hours. But, the Tykerb is a pill I'll take about 5 times a day. They will adjust it down to maybe 3 or 4 depending on how my body reacts to it. It has an apparent side effect with your GI system. But, once I find the right amount my body can tolerate, I'll be on that daily for an indefinite amount of time.
So, that's the plan. My spirits are strong and as long as I get sleep, I feel good.

God Bless,
Noelle

SLEEP!!!!!! I need it....

Hi everyone,

Well, the full brain radiation treatments are over! Praise God....no seizures! I did have extreme fatigue and I'm losing my hair again. And I have this oh so lovely rash on my face! Needless to say, it kinda stinks being a redhead with fair skin cause you get all the lovely rashes and allergic reactions! Go figure, like you don't have enough to deal with. :-)

I was extremely blessed to have been so fatigued by the radiation that I finally slept more than 5 hours in a night. Since being diagnosed a year ago, the treatments (chemo, steriods, etc.) have all caused insonmia. It can be a side effect that lasts for quite some time, according to the doctors. Even years after chemo. I haven't slept more than maybe 6 hours in the past year! And, if you knew me before the cancer diagnosis, you would know that I was a GOOD sleeper! I was really GOOD! Loved it! We are talking 10, 12, 14 hours a night. My family used to joke that my heart didn't start beating until double digits in the AM.

So, when all of a sudden, with the full brain radiation, I could sleep 8 hours through the night AND take a 2 hour nap in the daytime I was thrilled! And it really helped with the symptoms I was experiencing with my motor skills. The big tumor in the brain is in my cerebellum, deep next to the brain stem. It has been messing with all my motor skills like walking, balance, writing, reading, speaking, etc. Well, with sleep and of course the radiation, the side effects were improving considerably. However, if I didn't get a nap, or did something mentally challenging, I grew more fatigued and my side effects got worse as the day went on.

Now, however, since the radiation stopped on Monday, I haven't been able to sleep during the night or during the naps. It's really been effecting me. My side effects are worsening. I saw my doctor today and we are going to try a new sleeping pill along with another medication that is supposed to make you tired. Hopefully, the two pills together will do the trick. Please pray that this concoction will work and if not, we will be able to figure out what will.

I would love it if I just was able to sleep again, so please pray for a miracle. I am grateful for everyone's prayers and support. I hope God blesses each and everyone of you tenfold.

Blessings,
Noelle

Well...

Well, no big shock, but still a bummer. The lung biopsy came back positive for cancer. So, the cancer has spread to my brain and lungs. However, the course of treatment remains the same, so that is good news.

I'm positive this treatment plan will do what is necessary and help me along. I thank you for all your prayers and support. I really do feel them. I feel confident and strong. I'm thanking God every moment for His grace.

And I thank Him every day for you all. May He bless you tenfold.

I'll keep you updated.

N~

One week down, two to go

Hi everyone~

Well, I have successfully finished my first week of brain radiation. And praise God, no seizures! I have to tell you though, I had planned my move to my new house this past week before I ever got the news that the cancer had spread to my brain. I personally don't recommend moving, starting brain radiation, and steriods in the same week! E-gads!

But, God truly blessed me with angels from everywhere. Between my family, friends, and great neighbors, I am all moved in! YEAH! And I love my new house. It's like my own little sanctuary. The animals are settling in, too. I think this will be the perfect place for me in this season of my life....to heal and rest.

Well, radiation is tiring to say the least. But, again, no seizures so I really can't complain. I'm still having some serious issues with motor skills and memory, but that is to be expected. Unfortunately, I still haven't heard back on my lung biopsy. Regardless, my medical oncologist is going to start me on a new drug whether it comes back positive or not. It would be the drug he would put me on if it were positive, so I guess that's a good thing. Want to be careful.

I've found out that after the three weeks of complete brain radiation, they will do another brain scan to see how the tumors are shrinking. If they are still there, they will most likely do a biopsy of the tumors at that time to see if there is any additional cancers in the brain. Apparently, you can have more than one type of cancer in the brain at once. So, they'll want to make sure they are targeting all cancer(s) with the appropriate treatment. If they find there are still tumors in the brain after the three week treatment, then they will break out the "big guns" and use Gamma Knife Radiation to target the specific tumors.

Between my medical oncologist, radiation oncologist, and my neurosurgeon/neurological oncologists at Barrows Neurological Center all taking on my case, I feel I'm in great hands. I'm feeling positive.....tired, but very hopeful.

The only thing that is quite annoying is being grounded from so many things I usually take for granted. I so used to being self-sufficient and it is hard to go to do something and find it's hard to do. I cannot drive, I cannot use knives, I can't take walks for very long, my writing is atrocious. I even got lost and I've fallen a couple of times. I think this part is the most frustrating for me. I feel like I'm slowly losing my independence.

I shouldn't complain though. I've heard it could get worse and I'm still able to do so much still. Thank goodness.

Well, I'm going to hit the hay. I'll keep you posted on my progress. Thank you all again for your love, support, encouragement, and most of all you prayers.

God Bless
N~

Here I Go Again...

I just would like to reiterate a previous post......CANCER SUCKS!!!

And here's why: I recently had a PET Scan done which showed a lump/lymph nodes in my left lung that was suspicious. So, last Thursday they scheduled me for a lung biopsy. I'm still waiting for the pathology results which I should get on Monday or Tuesday.

I also had my mammogram last Tuesday, which I haven't gotten the results back from because they were waiting to get a copy of my films from last March for comparison. Hopefully that report will come in this week as well.

Now onto the news I did receive this past Friday. But, first a little background. In the last two months or so, I have been suffering from symptoms which I believed were from sleep exhautsion from the insomnia I have. Symptoms such as severe memory loss, headaches, balance and walking issues, having trouble writing and swallowing, and my speach has gotten thick-tongued: having trouble forming and enunciating words correctly.

So, on Friday while I was getting my Herceptin treatment, my doctor came over to see how I was doing from the lung biopsy from the previous day. Well, I told him the boipsy went fine, but I was having these issues with my sleep and told him my symptoms. He immediatly ordered an urgent MRI of the head that day right after my treatment.

I went to get the MRI with contrast done and before I was even out of the building, my doctor's nurse called me and asked me to come back to the doctors office. Not a very good sign if you ask me! Anyway, when I got there he sat me down and told me that there were multiple lesions on my brain and he had called a radiation oncologist who specializes in brain radiation treatments and set up an appt. immediately after my talk with him.

Unfortunately, he and the radiaiton oncologist have not gotten the official report from the radiaologist who did the MRI. The radiologist just called my doctor immediately to inform him to get me into treatment as soon as possible. So, we don't know how many lesions or where they are as of yet. That information should be in Monday or Tuesday of this week.

But, the good news is that because of the quick notification of my situation, I was able to meet with the radiation oncologist on Friday evening to get a CAT Scan and my radiation mask made, along with a mapped out plan to get me started on treatment on Monday. They don't mess around with this stuff, they didn't even wait for the official report which really would have only taken about a week to get, if that.

They've already started me on a steriod regimen to eleviate the swelling in my head which will help with the swelling from my first radiation treatment on Monday. The radiation treatments cause swelling, which may or may not induce seizures. If we get most of the swelling down with the steriods, my risk of seizure may go down as well.

Oh, and get this. On the CAT Scan at the radiation oncologist office, even though it wasn't done with contrast, the doctor was able to see one of the lesions in my cerebellum. I apparently have a golf ball sized tumor in the motor skills part of my brain, hence some of my symptoms. I kept feeling like I was drunk without even touching a drop of alcohol. Wonder why!

My doctors and I are very positive that they will be able to eradicate most if not all of the tumors with radiation. Now I'm just waiting for the lung biopsy and mammogram reports to come in. Hopefully, they are clean, but if not, I will fight those battles as well. Please keep me in your prayers as I go through the next round(s) of battling this evil disease.

God Bless,
Noelle

I HATE CANCER

Well, I haven't blogged in a while and I'm sorry about that. I healed really well from my radiation sores/burns and things were going well for a while. But for some reason I was experiencing headaches and sever memory loss. Add to that sleep deprivation due to my insomnia and I felt like a mess. I told my medical oncologist about my symptoms and he said that it is probably something known as "chemo brain" or "chemo fog" and as for the insomnia, well that's normal with the Herceptin treatments I'm still on.

Needless to say, he wanted to move up my PET Scan from April to this past week. Well, I had the scan on Tuesday and yesterday I was told that the cancer seems to have spread to lymph nodes in my chest on the left side. He's ordered me a CAT Scan and I will have to have surgery to remove the nodes in order to biopsy them. I'm not sure when all this will take place, but I will keep you informed.

Please keep me in your prayers and I will hopefully have some good news to report soon!

God Bless,
N~